Navigating the dating jungle may not be as difficult as the Congo, but it could sure feel like it. Daters often eliminate my exhibiting bad habits being difficult, selfish, or just plain rude and insulting. I once had a guy tell me he wanted to see me and my best friend together upon our very first conversation! Then he tried to explain himself by saying ‘it’s a guy thing’. I’m not a guy so I don’t know if that’s true, but I do know that his comment was just totally inappropriate. Maya Angelo’s has a famous quote which says people tell you who they are, and when they do you should listen. More often than you realize, people are constantly showing you and telling you who they really are. Studies show that most people’s favorite subject is themselves, so next time when someone shows you who they are in the beginning, listen — because it’s probably not going to get better.
It seems like people are always looking for the BBD (Bigger Better Deal). While this may be good in their careers and financial life, it doesn’t really fair well in the dating world. In South Florida, and Los Angeles for example, the unemployment rate is actually higher than the national average. Therefore the singles with the bare minimum (ex. Job, car, and own place) are like hot commodities and unfortunately they know it. This can lead to excessive pickiness, overlooking of their own shortcomings, and basically jumping around from mate to mate because nobody is good enough — in their eyes at least.
That’s why it’s a good idea not to get your hopes up too quickly after meeting someone. I know many women who start picking out the wedding colors after the first date. Although this may feel good and give them a temporary high, the higher we get the harder we fall. This kind of behavior can lead to massive disappointment, and unnecessary heartache.
One proposed and perhaps controversial solution would be to date more than one person at a time, especially initially. This is applicable when you are not officially boyfriend and girlfriend with anyone and have made no commitments. This way it keeps your expectations realistic so you can objectively date without getting your emotions too involved. And because people eliminate themselves as we discussed earlier, narrowing it down, shouldn’t be so difficult.
Finally, after kissing a lot of frogs and frogettes, there does come that magical time when one person does stick out of the pack as someone with real quality. This is when you want to become more exclusive and start a real relationship. At this time, it’s good to give up all your alternatives, which shouldn’t be difficult since you really like one person and you don’t want to lose them.
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